Speaker 2: 0:17

Welcome to GDIA podcast. I am so excited about my amazing guest today, so go ahead and introduce yourself and let them know a little bit about you.

Speaker 1: 0:25

Sure, my name is Michelle Steiner. I live in Pennsylvania with my husband, ron, and our two cats, jack and Sparrow. I am a paraeducator in a school where I work with students that have disabilities, and I am also a disability writer, speaker and photographer, and I have a blog called Michelle's Mission where I write about life with a learning disability. I have a learning disability myself.

Speaker 2: 0:51

Thank you so much for sharing that. I would love to just get into your journey with honestly connecting and growing with God. I feel like we all kind of go through highs and lows in our lives growing with God. I feel like we all kind of go through like highs and lows in our lives, you know. So I would love to know, like what was your beginning of the journey? You were introduced to God or were you already, like, born and raised in the church? Like what was your journey?

Speaker 1: 1:17

I was raised Catholic. My parents I'm so grateful that they planted that seed of faith in me and we went to church and I was raised with that. But they were also open to other denominations as well and Christian places. And I can remember I went to a vacation Bible school at another church and I accepted Christ whenever I think I was three or four. I was very young at that time when I did that and my family we didn't end up going to that church.

Speaker 1: 1:48

I was still Catholic and we went to church and one of the things that was difficult was a lot of times I felt like it was more about religion. It wasn't really a lot about relationship, but I still went and participated and I can remember that I was a teenager. That's when God became a little more real in my life. With the relationship. I got involved with a faith-based program that was just right outside of our school district and they had a newsletter that I wrote on and theater and just a lot of other fun things and I got to meet a lot of teenagers that were my age and I got to see a more of a relationship with God. I could just really see that hand at work of the people he brought into my life there, and this was really important because I was being bullied in school and it got worse as I got older. I experienced it ever since kindergarten, but when I became a teenager, a lot of the groups became more defined and I just didn't feel like I fit in anywhere and God not only gave me some friendship, but he also gave me more of a relationship with him.

Speaker 1: 2:57

I was able to continue that, though I can remember I was still living with my parents and it was one of those things that I went to church. I went to mass with them. I also went to college, and, but right after I moved out on my own, that's whenever I decided I didn't want to be Catholic and I found a church that I started going to and my parents have been always been very supportive of that. And my husband and I yeah, we got married. It took us a little while to find a church we both like, but that's our story and God has just been in so much in my life Amazing.

Speaker 2: 3:38

I love hearing that. I love hearing sometimes too like where we kind of find our own special place of where we feel safe, where we feel more connected with God. Like you know, even though we grow up a certain way, we find our own thing without even trying to happen. Yeah, definitely so many moments where because I was brought up in church and everything, because my grandfather was a preacher and all of those things, but it's just different when you start to go through life and you connect with God in your own special way and you find your own special like a Christian family and home, and they just kind of connect with you and differently, and they bring out this special relationship with God that you may not have had before yet you know exactly. So I would love to know did you have any moments where you felt like maybe your faith was tested or life just hit you a little harder, where you end up having to really depend on God a little bit harder, more than you expected?

Speaker 1: 4:39

Yes, I can remember when I was very young feeling discouraged and my life was hard for that because, with the learning disability, and I thought, oh, what could come out of this? I definitely can't see all the struggles and things, and little did. I know that God had a plan for me in my life and I just wondered so many times, though, what plan was that? I can remember being in a baptism when I was in my 20s and the preacher talked about how God has a plan for everybody's life and I thought, well, where's my plan? I want to get married, I want to go to college, and there were so many things they told me I wasn't going to be able to do. I was told that I couldn't go to college because of my disability, and I was also told that I couldn't get my bachelor's degree by a psychiatrist because my scores were really low. I was told by people that my job choices will be limited, and I was told by people that my job choices will be limited. And I was even told by other people that you may not be able to get married because no one's going to want you, because you have a disability. And true to that, there were obstacles that came in there.

Speaker 1: 5:44

But I can remember it's whenever I gave a lot of that to God that I started to see a lot of the changes. One of the first things was I was able to live on my own for a while after graduating from community college and I loved it. I had that independence. But then God had some other plans where I was to move back in with my parents again for financial reasons and I can just remember thinking, oh, where's that plan at? I'm back to where I started and little did I know God was really working things out for my good at that point. I was able to fully focus on school because my job was downsizing. I had all the money for school. I was able to graduate debt-free, even though everybody said I was going to have student loans. Money came in and living with my parents helped me not to have to incur expenses on campus and I also had just that time to study. I had the right program that had the least amount of math and science possible and I even had a ride, because my mom went to church and she was telling one of my relatives, who, ironically, worked on campus, that I was going there and I can't drive and she said, okay, I'll pick her up, no big deal. She lived close by, so I had everything covered and it went so much smoother I was able to my grades improved when I used the accommodations and during that time I also met my husband, and my husband was also a prayer that I prayed about.

Speaker 1: 7:21

I can remember I had a lot of broken relationships. I had a guy that I was dating that he thought I could drive. In fact he told me that whenever he was breaking up with me and that he was tired of taking me places. And there was just some other really not great relationships that happened and I can just remember praying and I said Lord, do not send me anybody until it is the right person. And sure enough, he answered that prayer and there's just so many little things that I can look back on. I didn't plan anything, I didn't try to meet him, I wasn't looking, but God placed him in my life and there was just so many things that came about with that.

Speaker 1: 8:05

I can remember another friend of mine had a dream and he said I had this dream that you got married and you're I don't know who the guy is, but it's not me and you're wearing a vintage dress and you're standing by the courthouse. Now I could picture the vintage dress, because that definitely is my style, but I thought why would I get married around the courthouse, I mean, or have something like that? And I put it out of my mind. And we had our reception at the art center where we met at, and the photographer wanted us to come take pictures at a park nearby. And when we got the pictures back, the courthouse is in the background and I had the vintage dress on and I was like, oh so God, you were speaking through that and those were just some special moments.

Speaker 2: 8:56

I love your story. For one you prove every person wrong. For one you prove every person wrong. You know, I think at times people forget that they don't get to choose what God already has planned for us. You know, like growing up having a disability like that can be challenging at times, and then you're already trying to go through all these changes and just get to know yourself, you know, but to have additional people kind of give their say and professionals that were trying to give their own opinions is just crazy. Time and time again God was like no, that's not what's going to happen. You know. So I love hearing that. So I would love to know, after going through your challenges and honestly showing up and showing out every single time, how did you continue that faith and continue that like that spark and joy? Because sometimes, after we get to the other side of things, we still have those hiccups that pop up here and there. So did you ever have any hiccups and if so, what was your method Like? How are you getting through those moments?

Speaker 1: 10:03

I was not a positive, happy person for a lot of years. I can just remember being really negative about myself and other people and a lot of it was just what people were telling me and I was really afraid that I just wasn't going to be successful. And what really helped me was I had a wonderful, supportive family. But I also had some great friends. I had friends that they could not fix my disability, but they could be my friends, and I met them when I was in my late teen years and they also were really instrumental because they're a writing group and 20 years later we still meet every once a month to talk about our writing and we're in each other's lives. And they encouraged me to talk about writing, about having a learning disability, because sometimes what helps me is to be able to write.

Speaker 1: 10:53

Writing has helped me to find my voice. I didn't take their encouragement initially. I wrote some bad poetry and some other things I would not want to read today, but what ended up happening was when I finally took their advice. That was really healing for me. That helped me to be able to connect with other people, and I also think it's empowering when I focus on what I can do rather than what I can't do.

Speaker 1: 11:17

If I want to focus on that I'm bad at math or that I can't drive, then I really miss a lot of the joy that God does have in my life. And God just didn't create me to be a mathematician or somebody that was going to drive or do a lot of things with that. But he's given me joy and something even better than I could ever imagine, and a good example of this is I'm not able to drive, as I said before with my disability, but I'm on a walk, I can take pictures of flowers and stop and smell the roses, and if I was sitting in the driver's seat I wouldn't be able to notice a lot of those details. So God has really blessed me, and I think it's just the resources that are out there too and being able to have that problem solving you're able to find that and focusing on what I can do.

Speaker 2: 12:05

Yes and yes again. I love that you said you focus on what you can do. Yes and yes again. I love that you said you focus on what you can do, because sometimes, honestly, we tend to let what we can't do kind of bring us down and it slows us down from really experiencing, like you said, all the highs and the joys. Yeah, I love that you said that and I love I just like your mindset in general, like everything that I'm listening to. I'm like, okay, that was a total mindset shift and, honestly, god was sending that shift through your friends. They kind of moved it a little bit and then you continued it on. It's amazing. So I would love to know what advice would you give someone that is potentially in the same place that you were years ago? What advice would you give them?

Speaker 1: 12:47

I would just encourage people that things do get better and God can use that situation for your good. What was meant to harm you can actually be meant to be beneficial to you, and there's nothing that God can't fix or nothing God can't use to help somebody. God didn't take away my disability, but he's used it in so many different ways that I'm able to not only help myself but other people. I can remember I had somebody that, when I moved back in with my parents, say, well, did you pray about the situation? And that was a lot of shame. That went with that, and what I now could understand is I did pray about it, but God had different plans for me and gave me such a better plan than I could have ever thought for myself. So what I would just tell other people is just give it to God and just see what he's going to do to transform that pain into purpose.

Speaker 2: 13:39

I love that you said that because, like you said, people can bring things on. Instead, I feel like sometimes are their own personal things that they're still working out and going through, and it can try and shift the way that you're feeling and you may not be feeling those emotions like not even close, you know. So I love that you guard yourself and you were aware of that. This is not how I feel and they're trying to make me feel a way that I don't. So, thank goodness for God, you know Exactly, because sometimes we do need those reminders. So I want to thank you so much for sharing your story and just honestly giving somebody else a piece of your joy. So thank you for sharing that with us.

Speaker 1: 14:20

Thank you so much for having me, Cyn. It's been a pleasure.

Speaker 2: 14:25

Well, that's it, you all. I hope that you enjoyed every second of that episode, because I definitely did so. To make sure that you don't miss out on any new episodes, click like follow or subscribe so that you don't miss out on anything, and I will be back again next week. Bye, y'all.